When we decide to become parents, we do so knowing there is a mystery waiting when we meet our children. What will they be like? Who will they look like? Will they be funny like their brother? Reserved like their mom? It’s one of life’s greatest surprises. We don’t always know if there will be complications, disabilities, diseases, or any number of other things, yet we choose to become parents, choose to raise children in the ever changing society and world that we live in. Most never imagined that they would be parents to a child with differences, yet many of us find ourselves facing that reality and meeting it with love. That is one thing I think all parents can agree on: that we want our children to feel loved. Raising “good humans,” as people often say, takes work. Teaching them to say “please” and “thank you,” to be kind to everyone, to stand up for what they believe in, to work hard in school, are ideals that most people put at the forefront of their parenting. The truth is, we cannot possibly always get it right, but we can try. We learn from our mistakes, and try to do better.
The approach of not teaching our children topics such as racism, sexism, gender identity, LGBTQ, and other differences in schools DOES NOT WORK. We now know this so we can choose to learn from the past and do better. It leads to increased suicide rates, bullying, and mental health issues. According to a recent Trevor Project study, over 80% of trans and non-binary adolescents and young adults have contemplated suicide with more than 50% having attempted suicide. These rates are much higher among those who felt discriminated against (whether for identity, sexual orientation, or race), those whose pronouns were not respected, and those who had undergone conversion therapy. I could rattle off many statistics, it could take up pages, but instead I urge you to visit The Trevor Project site to read the horrifying statistics. I know that no parent wants that to be their child and if including DE&I can help keep a child or children from taking their lives, then it is more than worth it.
In response to gender identity and the multitude of legislation being passed against trans youth in recent history, the American Academy of Pediatrics has said “we will continue to speak up and advocate for our patients. We also want transgender and gender-diverse youth to know that not only do we care for them, we care about them, we value them and we will do all we can to ensure they have access to the care they need and deserve.” If the governing body of pediatricians, who we trust our childrens’ care to, has put out multiple statements over multiple years, using evidenced-based research, affirming that showing these youth that we care for them, accept them, and value them is so important, then why would our schools not teach our children how to navigate a society in which everyone is different? One Westwood is fighting to stifle teaching true acceptance in our schools, but in the ever evolving world we live in, these topics cannot be swept under the rug. Cannot be avoided. It is part of the society we live in and I know that I want my children to be prepared to be the best members of society that they can be.
Westwood abides by a curriculum set forth by the state. I am sure there are nuances that I am not aware of that allow it to be tailored somewhat but DE&I is not something we can just strip from the curriculum. Experts that develop the curriculum are just that- experts. We can educate ourselves and be active participants in our children’s education, but until I have an advanced degree in education and curriculum development, I will not, nor should you, dictate what should and should not be taught. I will, however, arm myself with knowledge regarding these issues to help support my children.
In response to the Opinion Article by One Westwood: We don’t have the power to stop the world from evolving or to raise our children like we were raised or to try “returning to the 2010s” because the world is different now. An age-appropriate book about gender identity isn’t going to make every child suddenly question their gender identity- but it may give them a pearl of knowledge that they can file away in their brain and if they ever encounter transgender child, maybe they will be more kind. Your desire to not teach racism in a piano class, does not make racism in the music industry not exist, but teaching it may make our children more adept at handling it or fighting against it. To say “Anti-racism is the fraternal twin of racism, exchanging one form of discrimination for another” sounds fancy, but doesn’t even make any sense- they are literally opposite. We do not live in a homogenous society where we are all the same, where we are all treated the same, but we can try to make our children better than previous generations at treating everyone equally despite their differences. That begins with learning. It is not in the best interest of our children to be left in the dark. To teach acceptance and kindness, two pillars that should be held in the highest esteem, may just make the world a better place.
The agenda of One Westwood is selfish and unrealistic. Their futile attempt to stop the new Hanlon-Deerfield school based on their false narrative on DE&I was not about putting the children of Westwood first- it was about promoting their agenda. They say that Westwood Schools “aren’t what they used to be”- true- but what they used to be does not fit into the society we live in today- I would argue they are better. I have found Westwood Schools to be a wonderful community that puts students first. I compare it to towns that I have friends or family in and Westwood continues to impress me every year. The authors of the opinion article said members have been finding alternative schooling to fit their beliefs and I welcome them to do that because in the public education realm, Westwood is doing right by students and families in attempting to create a more inclusive community for all its members.
As a nurse, I have had many years to work on my empathy for others. It is a daily practice to put myself in my patient's shoes and in the time I am caring for each patient, it is their world, their experience. I cannot always bring my own experiences or broad view to the room- what is life altering and painful for one patient might be just another day for the next patient. But I care for them equally- realizing that each patient’s life experiences are different but both are valid and deserve space. We will never know what it is like to walk in a body other than our own, to have feelings other than our own, but we can all do our best to have empathy toward all people and make it a daily practice, like the nurses that care for you and your family do every day. To say that “[your] families do not feel ‘included’” deserves some reflection. It may be a time to practice empathy and try to put yourself in the shoes of one of the youth you are so clearly trying to erase. I encourage each of you to acknowledge your own privilege of not having to face many of the challenges that these youth face every day.
The mystery of parenthood transcends the delivery room and lasts a lifetime. Children grow and discover themselves- their likes and dislikes, gender identity, sexual orientation, among MANY other things. I feel grateful and hopeful that whoever my children evolve into, they will be part of a community that values them and accepts them and doesn’t try to sweep them under the rug. I take comfort in knowing that Westwood is helping us all raise good humans.
https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/19021/AAP-continues-to-support-care-of-transgender
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/
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